Life at Monkey Hill

Overheard in the car

2007-01-16T07:36:00.000-08:00

"So Nancy is getting married the weekend of July 8th and wants us to come to the wedding. In Vegas."

"I hate Vegas. Do I have to go with you?"

"Oooh, oooh!! I want to go to Vegas with you, Mommy!"

"Darian, why do you want to go to Vegas? For the free booze?"

"Well....."

Happy Holidays from Monkey Hill

2006-12-20T20:35:00.000-08:00

Flying Monkey

2006-12-02T17:17:00.000-08:00

My girl in action at tae kwon do last night.

Satan's Caveman

2006-11-13T15:01:00.000-08:00

You have seen Nacho Libre, right?

The trick was on me

2006-11-05T10:59:00.000-08:00

I haven't told you about Piper's first Halloween, have I? October 31 was a day that tested my patience and, ironically, my daughter was a patient. OK.

We scheduled her two month checkup for that day looking forward to how our pediatrician would dress up, forgetting that this checkup entailed four shots. One, two, three, FOUR shots into Piper's chunkilicious thighs. FOUR. We become mildly amused with our doctor's choice of costume, the tooth fairy, pictured below. (Can you believe this guy is voted year after year as one of the top Seattle physicians?) Of course, we revel in the fact that he praises our parenting skills and the fact that our daughter is absolutely perfect. A trait he takes 100% credit for, by the way. And then come the shots. Did I mention how many she got? No? It was FOUR. Piper did surprisingly well with the pokes while I turned away, freaking inside from all those needles. Passing out moments later, Piper slept well into the afternoon.

And then she woke up.

Realizing what had happened to her, she vented her frustrations by screaming at her highest pitch for TWO HOURS. Two hours of non stop, blood curdling screams. Now, all you parents out there with colicky or unsettling babies, I feel for you. I know you have no sympathy for the couple of hours I had to endure Piper's wails, but maybe you will feel bad when I tell it prevented us from trick or treating! We didn't get to attend our neighbor's Halloween party, nor did we get to answer the door, plop chocolates in bags and admire costumes. Instead, I put a note on the door requesting kids take ONE chocolate from the jack-o-lantern bucket on the porch only to learn later that the one derelict neighbor kid stole the entire thing and one of my neighbors chased him down. Nice.

Oh, and me as a perfect parent? Not a drop of infant pain reliever in the house, so I had to beg my friend Carrie to run out and get me some. Carrie was only hosting the Halloween party, so she had to call her mother to run to the store for me and her mom was so worried about the baby, she ended up locking her keys in her car while at the drug store! (I still feel bad about all that, Carrie! And I promise to pay you back, really!!!). Yeah, you read that right- I haven't even paid her for saving my sanity from all the screaming. Perfect parent *and* friend. That's me!

So, for me and the Pipes, our Halloween was a bust. At least Darian scored some Whoppers for me to drown my sorrows in.

Halloween Costume

2006-10-31T13:20:00.000-08:00

"So are you dressing up tonight to give out candy? Ooh, you could Moby the baby, then you could be that creature from Total Recall. You know, that creature that has a baby coming out of it?"

"I was just going as a sleep deprived mom."

"Huh. Same thing."

The Best Baby Ever

2006-10-24T15:18:00.000-07:00

Need I say anymore?

Sometimes I wonder about her.....

2006-10-23T09:52:00.001-07:00

Last night my daughter invited her friend over for dinner. We hadn't seen her in awhile and were discussing the various things she had been up to, in particular, a recent field trip to see the Dead Sea Scrolls exhibit here in town.

Darian: "Why would you want to go see some dead animals?"

Me: "Darian, what are you talking about? Celeste just explained to you what the Dead Sea Scrolls are."

Darian: "Are you talking about scrolls or squirrels? Cause I thought you were talking about Dead Sea Squirrels."

Stuff Portrait Friday

2006-10-20T00:00:00.000-07:00

Yeah. It's been like a year since I played, but this week's assignment was really easy~ they were photos I had already taken! Stuff Portrait Friday comes to you courtesy of Kristine at Random and Odd.

SPF this week is going to be super easy and…well, Random.

1. The Kitchen Sink 2. Something you need to fix. 3. Something you’re going to throw away right after you take the picture of it.

Here's a recent photo of my kitchen sink. Yup, that's a baby getting a bath in there.

Here's something I need to fix:

No, not *that* kind of fixing, cause that's been done. Ellie needs to get his bark under control and I need to fix that. He barks at everything and nothing at all. His barking drives me insane.

Here's something I threw away right after I photgraphed it. I have no idea why I took this photo. And I actually recycled this box. You can be arrested in Seattle if you don't recycle.

Did you play?

I heart PR

2006-10-19T09:38:00.000-07:00

Last night I was on pins and needles (pun intended) watching the season finale of Project Runway 3. Yeah, you never hear me talk about TV because I am not a big watcher of it, but I have followed this show since the beginning. My pregnant weekends were spent sprawled out on the couch, glued to the marathons on Bravo hoping Jeffrey would end up the winner. And last night he won!

I was literally on the edge of my seat when Tim Gunn had his 'gather round' to talk about the allegations that Jeffrey outsourced some of his sewing. There was no way he could have come that far to be disqualified, and with a huge sigh of relief, he remained in. So he had to give up the wigs; I didn't really like them, anyway. His collection told a story, was innovative, and beautifully styled- without wigs! I can't wait to see what he does with INC and how his clothes would be marketed to the public. I would love to own one his designs.

This season's finalists had the most diverse points of view since the show's inception; their collections emphasizing just how different each designer is. I really liked Laura's designs, just because they were all so elegant and sophisticated, but I didn't think she was well rounded enough to be deemed the winner. I can see her clothes on the red carpet at the Oscars, not at my local Macy's. Uli was a little too Mrs. Roper for my tastes, though her neutral pieces were lovely. I was really tired of hearing how she lives in Miami and likes vibrant colors. I get it! Michael was Darian's favorite and while I loved his winning design for the Icon challenge, I thought his collection was too hoochy mama for my tastes.

Sew, congratulations to Jeffrey! And now you know, I love Project Runway (but pretty much suck at reviews!)

All I needed to know, I learned from Disney films

2006-10-12T14:14:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder just what my nine year daughter is learning in school. She's been struggling with basic spelling and simple math and I find it frustrating that she can recall movie lines and scenes from plays but can't tell me what nine times six is.

Case in point:

The other night while dining with some relatives from Texas, she said, "You know, Arizona, New Mexico, and California were once part of Mexico, just like Texas." Our relatives were very impressed that Darian knew that, being a Northwest baby and all that.

Later while doing the dishes I asked her if she had learned that in school, because, by gosh! She's finally retaining historical information she's learned there! I should be proud, not worrisome!

"Mommy, they said it in the Zorro movie!"

Last night we were eating dinner at a restaurant that had a grand fish tank as the center focal point of the dining room. We were discussing with friends how hard it must be clean such a large tank, and keep all the sea anemone alive that populated it. Darian then said the anemone were home to the clown fish because they protected the fish from the predators of the sea. My friend asked if she was studying the sea in school and Darian said, "No, I learned that from Finding Nemo."

Later I started to tell everyone at the table about my plantar fasciitis because talking about feet is only proper dinner manners when out with good friends. Of course, all this foot talk then led to questions of warts to which I posed, "Oh, a verruca?!!"

"Huh? Like Verruca Salt from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?" asked my girlfriend.

"Yeah. A verruca is a foot wart. You know all those podiatrists I work with? I sell them a lot of Verruca-Freeze."

Darian then cut in, "Yeah, you know that line from the movie when she says, 'My name is Verruca Salt' and Johnny Depp says, 'Oh, I thought a verruca was a wart you got on the bottom of your foot.'? Well, that's a verruca."

We then realized: if Johnny Depp made a movie about math, our daughter would be going to MIT.

The Black Guy's Peas

2006-10-08T10:51:00.000-07:00

My husband is fascinated with Fergie and talks incessantly about her solo career. Mostly, he annoys the heck out of me by getting the words to London Bridge incorrect, mashing them with another song:

"London Bridge is falling down!
Falling down
Falling down
My humps! My humps!"

(By the way, the title of this post is what Darian believes to be the band's name who sings that lovely lady lumps song.)

Just what *are* lovely lady lumps? Scott seems to think they are my breasts. I have heard him several times in the nursery tell Piper that's where she gets her nummy noo-noos from. I say lovely lady lumps refer to the buttocks. Who's right on this one?

The kids today and their slang! I just don't get it!

Month One

2006-09-30T12:16:00.000-07:00

This past Friday my baby became one month old. I can't get over the changes that have occurred in our lives these past 30 days. I went from just being pregnant to nursing a newborn, recovering from a c-section and bladder injury, treating post-partum depression, re-connecting with my husband, calling my first born 'Sissy', and realizing that someday my husband will have to deal with three women under one roof having their periods at the same time rather than two.

Watching Piper change from a fresh-from-the-womb one-day-old to the seasoned age of thirty days has been nothing short of amazing. Her eyes light up when she awakes. She smiles when we kiss her. She is most comfortable crossing her feet at the ankles and keeping her fists under her chin much like a vampire bat. She poops an awful lot and is able to excrete with such force that one diaperless time her poo made its way across the changing table. Her concentration on performing number two is such that I feel I should offer her the newspaper only to have her retort, "This is serious business, lady. It needs my full attention."

And oh, how serious is Piper! She has this look that can stop you dead in your tracks. You think you have found the appropriate solution to one of her problems only to be told with austerity, "You have no clue what you are doing. I want to speak with your manager!"

She is a physically strong baby- held up her head right after delivery. I will put her over my shoulder to burp and her neck stiffens while her head seeks more milk. She nurses with great gusto. During her waking moments, her hands and feet are always in motion; involuntary reflexes to the synapses in her brain. One move that we know is purposeful is when her lone middle finger will rise telling us that not only can she understand what we are saying to each other, but that she has mastered comedic timing. This will take her far in life.

We have yet to see if Piper is a dog person or a cat person. Much to my surprise, my dog has accepted Piper and even guards her nursery while we are in there. If a cat tries to make it's way in to have a siesta in the crib, or to steal her breath, he chases it away. Of course, he only does while we are *in* the nursery so many a time we have entered to find a cat curled up in the crib. Our orange tabby Griffen is so bold that once he jumped in my lap while nursing the baby. Once.

Piper's had many friends and relatives visit for which we are very thankful. Not only have they provided us company, they have brought tasty meals, walked my dogs, done my dishes, and even vacuumed my house. Karma is working to my family's advantage~what a blessing!

I can't say what the next month will bring us other than Piper continuing to thrive and my love for her continuing to grow deeper.

And how could you not be in love with this?

We're not strangling elephants

2006-09-28T09:44:00.000-07:00

That sound you hear? It's not an animal being tortured, I promise you that. It's Darian's new activity:

She's only had one lesson which entailed learning how to put the trombone together and blow. So practice is just her blowing as loud as she can then remarking how each note sounds like flatulence. It's going to be a fun school year!

'Scuse me while I kiss this guy

2006-09-22T10:17:00.000-07:00

Awake at 4am and trying to get the baby to burp, I suggested to my husband that if he walk around in a jaunty way, Piper would let loose the gas. My sexy husband then did his best impression of John Travolta a la Saturday Night Fever which prompted me to break out in song.

"Whether you're a mother or whether you're a brother you're stayin' alive. Stayin' Alive."

"Huh. I always thought they were saying, 'Woman-uh, woman-uh, woman-uh, woman-uh, stayin' alive, stayin' alive."

Maybe it was the fact that I was so sleep deprived, but I became hysterical hearing my husband say this and I nearly busted out what had been recently sewn up during Piper's birth. " For 30 years, you have been thinking the words to that song are actually humm-anna humm-anna humm-anna?!!!!"

"NO- WOMAN-UH, woman-ah, woman-ah."

My response: to continue with the laughter.

"See, this is why I reserve myself when baring my soul to you. You laugh at me incessantly."

You would too, internet. Right? What song lyrics have you been mistaken about for the past 3 decades?

Weekly Update- No Comment

2006-09-17T11:47:00.000-07:00

I'm not about to say that having a newborn in the house is easy. It's been 9 years since we've done this sort of work and I will be the first to admit it's the toughest job I have ever had. I'm sure my feelings will change once my oldest is going through puberty, but for now, the feedings every two to five hours- depending on Piper's desires- are taking their toll on me; Piper's not even 3 weeks old! I feel like I am one giant nipple. My husband assured me that, in fact, I am two giant nipples. Thanks, love. Though I am the keeper of the nipples, Piper seems to think that nipples grow all around her. From her daddy's t-shirt to her sister's hair, she is on the constant hunt for food.

I like to think that I time my days around her feedings, but in looking back over the past 17 days, my days are simply spent feeding her. That's it! Yeah, there are the diaper changes and the sleeping, but this entry is all about how much Piper eats.

I have a limited milk supply due to a reconstructive breast surgery six years ago, so we supplement her feedings with formula. Our routine has turned into breasting, bottle, breast again, then PUMP! This takes anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour and half and it makes me very, very, tired. I'm supposed to then sleep when Piper is sleeping, but I get too restless and must do things like what I am doing now. Needless to say, I think I showered two days ago. Which was a luxury, as was the trip to Target for a new coffee maker. I have ambitions today of leaving the house, but my nipples now signal it is time again to feed.

Hard to type when baby is trying to locate nipple in my shirt collar or here on this blog post.

The newest addition to our family

2006-09-12T15:32:00.000-07:00

For the past couple of years, you may have been visiting us over at Ce Soir ou Jamais. Now that I have had another baby, I can't for the life of me figure out why I chose the name of a perfume for my blog when the name of my house is a lot more interesting. That said, J Bo and family have moved to this new address. Please update your favorites!

In case you missed it over at the old place, I thought I would break ground here with the latest post. Frankly, I am too tired to come up with anything more clever.

Piper!!

I would have never dreamt this in a million years, but on August 29, two weeks ago today, I gave birth to my second daughter. I've not the time to tell you all the drama and excitement that has surrounded her arrival into this world, though I will say that she is absolutely perfect. PERFECT.

Here she is just minutes old.

And here she is earlier this morning. Like her mommy, she is waiting to get her nails done.

I can't say when I will be back online to share with you the highs and lows that comes with being a new (again) mommy, but I promise it will be soon! I know I can't keep my fans waiting too long.